Q: Julie, thank you for joining us today. We know you have a busy life, so we are grateful for your time. Who is it that you’ve brought with you today?
(Julie): Good morning! Thank you for having me. Sitting next to me are Doubt, Distraction, Curiosity, Embarrassment, Creator, and Fear. Well, of course you don’t need an introduction to Fear - she’s always around. Everybody knows her!
Q: Of course, hello Fear. If you don’t mind, Julie, we’ll just let Fear have her say at the onset here so we can get to our other questions. Fear, tell us what’s on your mind today.
(Fear): Embarrassment and I have been talking, and we think this might be a bad idea.
Q: How so?
(Fear): This whole thing- writing in a public space? Telling the truth? There could be repercussions.
Q: Ah. What kind?
(Fear): People will think we are stupid, the wrong people will show up or the right people will show up and find out too much, or nobody will show up at all and we’ll find out that all of this was for nothing. I mean, that’s always the case, so I’m not telling you anything I haven’t told you 100 times before.
Q: And Embarrassment, would you like to add anything?
(Embarrassment): No comment.
Q: I see Curiosity and Creator are whispering. Can you tell us what you’re discussing?
(Creator): Sorry to talk over Fear, but we just wanted to get to the fun part! We were talking about all of our ideas for what to do with this blank space!
Q: Yes, a lot of possibilities! What are you thinking about?
(Fear): You might do nothing at all with it, like you have for the last two years. (Doubt nods in agreement.)
(Distraction): There’s a lot different ways to do it though. We could draw pictures, or make lists, or take photos, or record audio, or write chapters, or poems, or we could do the dishes, fold laundry, paint the bedroom, dust under the beds, finish that online course…
Q: Yes, it’s really up to all of you.
(Julie): I have to stop you there. I don’t think that’s the case.
Q: Oh?
(Julie): It’s really up to me and Creator. She’s my co-pilot for this experiment. I already explained to the others that Curiosity is going to take care of them.
Q: So you’re the the babysitter, Curiosity?
(Julie): I’d say she’s more than that.
Q: How will she take care of Fear, Doubt, Distraction, and Embarrassment? Does she give them time-outs? Snacks? Lectures?
(Julie): She can speak for herself. Go ahead, Curiosity.
(Curiosity): I just ask questions.
(Julie): You don’t need to add the “just.”
(Embarrassment): (mutters) Don’t make a big deal of it.
(Creator): Questions are a pretty big deal. Go ahead, Curiosity.
(Curiosity): Ok, well the way that help Fear, Doubt, Distraction, and Embarrassment is by asking them questions.
(Fear, Doubt, Distraction, Embarrassment): (collective groan) (Distraction’s eyes darting around the room.)
Q: What kinds of questions?
(Curiosity): Same question, actually, shaped a little differently each time.
Q: Huh! And what’s that?
(Curiosity): “Why?”
Q: Ah. What kinds of answers do you get?
(Curiosity): Same answer, pretty much.
Q: You ask the same question and you get the same answer?! Do you find it all a waste of time?
(Creator): You should see the time they waste if she doesn’t ask! It’s like…every-single-thing-that-has-ever-not-been-done kind of time.
Q: What’s the answer?
(Curiosity): They say, “I want to be OK.” For example, when I ask Fear, “Why are you afraid to put words on the page?” she might first say, “I’m afraid it will be bad.” So I ask again, “Why are you afraid it will be bad?” She says, “Because I’m afraid I forgot how to do it or that I never knew how to do it.” I ask, “Why do you have to know how to do it?” Usually Doubt will pipe up, “Because if we don’t know what we’re doing, we’ll look like idiots!” Embarrassment usually adds, “In front of everyone!” So I just keep asking “Why is that?” “Why is it bad to try things in front of everyone? Why are you afraid to not know?” But, I do need to point out that there is an art to ending the questioning.
(Julie): Yes, you should give yourself some credit there.
(Creator): Oh it could go on all day. Which she loves (Distraction grins, raises her eyebrows, Groucho Marx- style)
(Curiosity): Yes, I just ask a few times. Then I restate what they told me, “If you do this thing in front of people, you will look like an idiot.” And then I say, “You will look like an idiot and you will be OK. Or, you might not look like an idiot and you will still be OK.”
(Fear, Doubt, Distraction, Embarrassment): We will?!
(Curiosity): Oh my God - do you see what I mean? It’s a surprise to them every time. (Turning to them) Yes. You will be OK.
(Fear, Doubt, Distraction, Embarrassment): (collective sigh)
(Creator): And then we can get on with it.
(Julie): It sounds like a lot, but actually if we remember to do it, it’s takes a couple of minutes. We’re getting faster.
(Distraction): Good thing, cause we have to feed-the-dog-wash-the-dishes-drive-the-kids-pay-the-bills-make-dinner-find-that-thing-write-that-email-schedule-that-appoi-
(Julie): HEY!
(Distraction): Hm? Oh wait, a kid is taking to me…
(Creator): Just ignore her. Let’s wrap this up.
(Fear): You’re not publishing this, are you??
(Curiosity): Yes of course! Let’s see what happens!
(Doubt): Nothing is going to happen.
(Creator): That would be fine. We already made something. That was the point.
(Curiosity): But maybe someone will read it!
(Embarrassment): That’s what I’m worried about.
(Curiosity): It’s going to be OK. Either way.
Q: Thanks letting me in on your process this morning, Julie.
(Julie): Sure. Always interesting to peak behind the curtain I guess. I do want to give credit to two other voices in my head. Elizabeth Gilbert and Richard Schwartz. IYKYK
Q: Sorry, what’s that?
(Julie): Oh, “if you know, you know”
Q: What if we don’t?
(Julie): Something for the next post.